Roof Over Head, Heels Under Foot


So there’s this website, myfreeimplants.com, where chestily-challenged women raise money for implants by getting sad bastards, excuse me, kind gentlemen, to donate to the cause in exchange for pics, videos and a bit of online chit chat.

 

The philanthropy of some men knows no bounds. ‘Should I donate to AIDS research? Katrina victims? A homeless shelter? Hell no, there’s a girl in Modesto, California in need of tits!’

 

So all this got me thinking. I don’t need any boobs, I’ve got some. Sure, they’re no Arethas, but they’ll do. Though, there are other areas of my life where I could use a little assistance. My rent payment, for example, is kind of a pain in the ass. As a result, my shoe fund takes a kicking each month and that just ain’t right.

 

Maybe I could find some sad bastards, excuse me, kind gentlemen, to donate to my ‘Roof Over Head, Heels Under Foot’ foundation?

 

There will be no nude pics, videos or online chit chats in exchange for this. You’ll just have that warm, fuzzy feeling of selfless giving; making someone’s life/shoe collection better. And isn’t that what giving’s all about?

 

I’ve seen plenty of ads on Craigslist by sugar daddies looking to unload a truck load of their wealth on some fine young filly. And I’ve seen young girls advertising for someone to pay their rent. Obviously, none of this is taking place without sex involved in the equation somewhere. Or is it?

 

Ahh, sometimes I really wish I had it in me to be a gold digger, but I just don’t. I’ve got these crazy things called ‘morals’ and they’re always getting in the way.

 

But on the off chance that there’s someone out there who appreciates the ideology of ‘Roof Over Head, Heels Under Foot’ and would like to participate, on the understanding that there will be no sexual favors, ever, under any circumstances, as long as you live, then…HOLLA!

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