Did I Miss Something?
I feel like I’ve been asleep for a really long time and I’ve woken up in some sort of parallel universe where, all of a sudden, Lil Wayne is the most popular thing on the planet. What in the name of Jesu Christi is going on here?!
Does the fact that his album sold over 1 million copies in its first week mean that he’s actually good, or that there are a million people out there with no taste whatsoever.
My issues with Lil Wayne are threefold:
Firstly, he’s ‘Lil’ and we all know my issues with short men.
Secondly, he’s really not that good of a rapper. I know it’s commonplace in hip hop for rappers to publicly declare that they’re the best thing to ever roam planet earth, but Lil Wayne? Seriously? Anyone who is actually into hip hop and puts this fool in their top five needs their head checked. Furthermore, Mr Wayne himself should probably get his head checked, since he’s the one trying to convince everyone that he’s the shit.
Thirdly, his tattoos. When you’re tattooing your face, it’s time to admit that you’ve run out of space. Find a new hobby.
Fourthly, (OK, it turns out my issues with Lil Wayne are fourfold) – that frikkin’ Lollipop song. A thinly veiled reference to your penis as a ‘lollipop’ will not go down as the smartest lyrical wordplay in history. Is that really the best you could do? She wants to lick lick lick lick lick you like a lollipop (that’s five licks y’all, which I think any man will tell you, doesn’t amount to much). We’re all more than aware that rappers get a lot of ass. You would think a girl wanting to give his lollipop five licks would not warrant an entire song.
There really isn’t enough time in the day for me to share my befuddlement over Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em and Flo Rider right here, so I’ll just call it a day.
