My Imaginary Posse
I’m happy with my core group of friends. They’re a pretty cool crowd. Between friends here and in London, New York and Tokyo, I’m rolling pretty deep, but that doesn’t mean I can’t expand my amigo group.
I got to thinking about who in the public eye I’d want to be friends with. If I track down these people, I will try to recruit them into the world of Bangs and a Bun, because my world is crazy fun y’all! You know you wanna be a part of it. So here goes:
Why? Because she’s awesome. If anyone ever needs to be put in their place, I’ll just roll out JJ and let her go to town. And really, is your life really complete without an older Jewish New York woman in it? No, I didn’t think so.
She dresses well enough to hang out with me. Plus, she’ll give me the ‘terrorist fist bump’ when she agrees with me. And her husband seems pretty cool too.
Every girl needs her token gay. I’m sure he’ll happily criticise everyone’s dress sense and help me give make overs to those who may not be making the grade.
The Entire Rock Steady Crew
Because I need people to back me up whenever I feel like busting out the electric boogaloo.
It’s always good to have one friend who is way dumber than you. If they’re a completely ignorant, immature, offensive asshole, it just serves to make you look better. Plus, Judge Judy can constantly cuss her out, which would make my day.
Any of the Cosby Show kids
Except for maybe Sondra, because she always seemed a bit lame. But Theo, Vanessa and Denise? Now, they knew how to have a good time.
Snoop from The Wire
I would never have to fear for my safety. Snoop will just nail gun your dead body up in a building if you mess with me. Who doesn’t want a friend like that?
Maxine Gray from Judging Amy
She has a quick wit, a great laugh and she looks like she gives good hugs and can cook up a good meal. Plus, she played Detective Cagney in Cagney & Lacey, which basically makes her the coolest person ever.
It’s always good to have a rapper in your clique. Especially one who can give you a good insight into every conspiracy theory known to mankind. And if you ever come across an impromptu rap battle in the streets, throw this guy in there and you’ll get an insane amount of street cred.