All The Boys Say I'm Pretty Fly (For a White Chick)
So, a couple of weeks ago, as I was strutting down the street, I pass by a group of fellas. The token white boy in this multicoloured ensemble, stepped out of the crowd, looked me up and down and as I breezed passed him said, ‘Damn! She’s sexy as hell, for a white girl.’
Let me tell you, never have I felt so complimented. This guy had truly found the way to my heart. I turned, threw my arms around him and we’ve been dating ever since.
What the hell was my response supposed to be to such a weird compliment? Was it even a compliment? I can’t even tell. If nothing else, this is a clear example of a man who does not engage brain before talking. If you are trying to express interest in a girl, I’m assuming her reaction shouldn’t be complete befuddlement.
But of course, it was the ‘for a white girl’ part of the statement that had me particularly riled. I’ll have you know, fellas of every ethnicity have expressed interest in my pasty white Irish, cinnamon on whipped cream, freckled lovliness. I have arabs getting at me on a daily basis on Myspace, the occasional Japanese man while I lived in Tokyo and I was recently hit on by a 93 year old Bulgarian. None of the aforementioned gave me the ‘for a white girl’ speech. Given, none of them can speak English very well, but that is not the point.
The point is, I am one hot piece of ass, damnit! And while I guess it’s flattering that you consider me to be among the upper echelons of attractiveness when compared to my fellow caucasian bretheren, may I just take a moment to remind you, that you are white, you fool!
Not only that, you are really rather ugly. The kind of ugliness that knows no racial bounds. Women of all ethnicities will concur on your distinct breed of unattractiveness. The United Nations come together in agreement on that one. So please, I do not crave attention from ugly people with mullets, so kindly keep your half wit opinion to yourself.