This Little Pinky
Look at Brad there. Nature was pretty kind to him, wasn’t it? And look how well he turns himself out. All dapper and wait…hold on a minute. Take your eyes off his pretty face for a second. Scan down, look at his left hand. Is that…a pinky ring?
A frikkin’ pinky ring? Really Brad? Were you recently promoted to ‘Boss’ in the Soprano family? Or are you now a rapper? Because those are pretty much the only two scenarios in which a pinky ring is even remotely acceptable and even then, you kind of look like a douche.
And it’s not just Brad. Recently, I’ve seen regular guys, who I’m assuming are not mob bosses or rap superstars, donning pinky rings. This is a dangerous trend that we cannot allow to slink into mainstream society. Why? Because it starts with a pinky ring and it’s a slippery slope to a sovereign ring, unbuttoned shirts, out of control chest hair and medallions, that’s why.
So fellas, unless you plan to go out and whack somebody, or you’re about to spit a mean 16, kindly refrain from donning a pinky ring. And even if you are about to whack somebody or spit a mean 16, I’m sure you can find some more appropriate attire in which to do it.