October 5, 2009 | fashion

White Girl Weave

There’s been a lot of talk recently about black hair, thanks to Chris Rock’s documentary ‘Good Hair.’ It’s left a lot of white women completely baffled thinking, ‘Wait, you mean to tell me Beyonce’s hair isn’t naturally a bounty of bouncy locks down to her ass?’ Truthfully, if I didn’t have friends of every shade going, I would not be too well versed in the natural vs relaxed vs weave debate myself.

I have black friends with relaxed hair, some with natural and some who will swear they were born with a weave. I grew up trying to get my head around all the lotions and potions they had to put in their hair. Earlier this year, when I was in New York for my birthday, I went to the hairdresser with my friend. This was my first black hairdresser experience. If I were ever to go again, I will make sure I set aside six hours of my day and schedule meals to be delivered. We were only in there three hours and my friend informed me that was pretty good going. My hair is down to my ass and to wash, cut and blow dry this bad boy I don’t think has ever taken longer than an hour. So, I would like to take this time to applaud black women worldwide for their patience. I surely couldn’t do it.

With that being said, since about 2004, I have been keeping a very close eye on a worrying trend: white girl weave. A growing number of white women are experimenting with hair pieces, clip ins, wigs, what have you. The only thing is, I’ve never seen a good white girl weave. Every one I see, you can tell it’s fake a mile off. A few months ago, Meghan McCain (daughter of former presidential candidate John McCain) was on The View and was rocking the worst rat’s nest weave in the history of fake hair. What made it even more embarrassing was that part way through the show, a debate about weave erupted and McCain stayed unusually quiet. Near the end of the debate, she fessed up ‘well, my hair’s not all real,’ and everyone gave her a look of ‘no shit Sherlock.’ (I have combed the net for pictures of this atrocity, but thankfully, couldn’t find any).

I find blonde women tend to be the biggest fans of weave. I don’t know what it is about blondes but they all seem to have an inner desire to look like Dolly Parton. They’ll keep clipping extra bits in their hair until they can’t make it through a doorway.

But if it’s not weave, it’s highlights, lowlights, full colour – maximum damage. Why the hell can’t we just leave well enough alone?! Personally, I am part of a rare breed with virgin hair. I’ve never dyed it and have no desire to. I loathe highlights – on anyone. I think they look terrible. Unless you’re going to run your root touch-ups like a military operation, don’t even bother entering into a relationship with any kind of hair colour. It looks tacky.

Not to mention, peoples love of this oatmeal, sun-dusted, honey, cement coloured blonde is running so rampant through society right now everyone is literally starting to look the same.

So ladies, of all colours (skin and hair), I say embrace the natural! But hey, if you still want to go the way of the weave, when I cut my hair off, I’ll give it to the highest bidder – at least you’ll know it’s good hair.

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11 Comments

Ewa

You are so lucky having a great natural hair colour! Many blondes don’t. I have what we in my native Sweden call “rat-coloured” hair. It’s just as flattering as it sounds. I would look like a living dead without some colour or highlights. Bad for the hair, bad for the environment, but definitely good for my looks…

She

I’m black, and I have relaxed hair. My mother had my hair relaxed in middle school; we both didn’t know any better. Chemical processing has been the worst thing I could have done to my hair, now I’m thinking about going natural. I hear it’s an ugly process growing out your processed hair, so I’m a little scared.

As for white girl weave, maybe you’re just good at detecting these type of things, but I hardly ever notice. Especially when it comes to celebs (white female celebs, that is).

And I use to want to get highlights in my hair in high school, that was until found out the severe damage it can do your hair. Then I was like, no thanks.

DJ CagedBird

A LOT of people, if not most people wear weaves in hollywood. Lol

But i thank you for respecting our patience with getting our hair done because sometimes, it is like that at the salon. I’ve made the mistake in waiting on one of my friends for 5 hours. THis was for prom. NEVER AGAIN IN LIFE!!! Im so glad it doesn’t take me that long to get anything done. I mean i literally came back & left at least 4 times!!

to “She”, The process of transferring from relaxed to natural IS daunting. I have virgin and all natural hair, but I do read a lot of blogs and videos about people on their hair journeys. A friend of mine is at the tail end of her transfer. She is cutting off her hair soon.(I don’t know how smart that is, seeing as though were in Michigan and its cold as HELL) But it took her 5 months to grow her hair and its taken a beating. But the result of growing out your hair is one you will be proud that you did have the courage to do.

Go to youtube and look it up. Do PLENTY of research before you try it out. oh! and become a regular member at thecoilreview.com they are *!!amazing!!* and its like a natural hair magazine. They will hook you up. TRUST.

As far as white girls and their bad weave, i have seen it all. I went to a predominately white school for high school after we moved out of Detroit, and let me tell you, these girls wore the worse of the worse weave man has the technology to produce. I mean damn. I thought black girls had it rough. NOOOOO i was so wrong!!!

Is it wrong for me to assume that since weave is such a hard thing for people to maintain and find the right kind of, that we should not be wearing it in the first place??

I am SO ready to see “Good Hair”. I am going to enjoy the conversations people are going to have when it debuts. 🙂

Smarty Jones

LoL! Yes, the black salon experience is a unique one. I am so glad that I gave up the creamy crack more than five years ago. After I watch the movie, I’m thinking of doing my hair journey story. I think a lot of black women are more concerned about their hair and face than anything else on their bodies. It’s, in a lot of cases, the one thing we feel like we can control and change in an instant. That’s why we spend hours in the salon. Well, that and to get the latest gossip from slow ass hairdressers who book four people at once and take walk-ins.
As for your “good hair” you can make a helluva lot of money when you sell it. LoL. I know at least four chicks who’d pay top dollar for it. I’ve had extensions braided into my head before and tracks glued in for whatever reason. I’m just glad I’m not a slave to it anymore.

She

DJ CagedBird – Thanks for the advice! I’ve looked at some youtube videos, and came across a site called nappturality.com, but I still have a lot more research to do. I will definitely check out that site, too. Thanks a bunch!

DJ CagedBird

yes! they are good too. No problem. RESEARCH IS KEY ON ANYTHING!!!! remember it for anything that you do, anything you eat, put on or in you body. Research it!!!

Bangs and a Bun

EWA – ‘rat-coloured hair’? I’m sure you don’t! You Swedes have the best hair ever!

SHE – I had no idea how damaging relaxing hair can be. I saw the clip from the Chris Rock doc where the solution melts a coke can – that’s crazy! Good for you for thinking about going natural. I think natural afro hair is beautiful.

DJCAGEDBIRD – OK first off, now I wanna see a pic of your hair! Kudos to you for going natural. And thanks for seeing my point about the white girl weaves – aren’t they just the worst?! Like seriously, I’ve never seen a good one!

Hinamori

Ahhh, I go to a really ghetto school. Everyone has weave. I give up. I’v never colored my hair or anything of the sort before, the only thing I’ve really ever done to my hair is straighten it. Speaking of everyone looking the same, you ever notice in Japan how everyone dyes their hair the same shade of brown? :/

Eliza_Do_Lots

I’d never do the white girl weave but dude I’ve been colouring my hair since I was 10 – were I blessed with hair as pretty as yours I’d leave it virgin fresh but we aren’t all that lucky 😉

blondie

I have blonde hair and I can tell you why we look for weaves (as I have even considered one myself). Most blondes have thinner hair. Or its finer. So as it grows long of looks so thin and scraggly. I hate my hair. And there’s an entire culture surrounding you that basically says the best have long, thick hair. I know she’s the hair extension queen, but I’d give anything to have Zooey Deschanel’s hair.
Btw, I saw Chris Rock’s documentary. It was really interesting! It was really well done.

Susie

I find blonde women tend to be the biggest fans of weave. I don’t know what it is about blondes but they all seem to have an inner.

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