More of the Same, Less of the Crazy
Beyonce and Lady Gaga have a new music video out and well, I’m tired. Beyonce just wears me out. It would be nice to think she’s tired of herself at this point, but alas, I don’t think we’ll see that moment for quite some time.
My immediate reaction after watching this video was, can I get that five minutes of my life back? Is it just me or has Beyonce made a variation of the same video for her last five or six singles? I can barely tell the difference anymore. And I don’t care to. I’m tired of it all. Skimpy outfit, roll hips, red lipstick, change weave once every six seconds – ENOUGH! It is clear that she has reached her creative peak and needs to take a break, have a lie down, go on vacation somewhere far, far away. She’s married to Jay-Z/Jiggaman/Hova/Hovi Baby/It’s the Roc – shouldn’t she be off having babies anyway? I mean, I fully understand not rushing to see what the offspring of Jay-Z will look like (I love me some Hov, but let’s face it, nature was not kind to his mug), but you’ve gotta do it sometime Beyonce and now’s as good a time as any (before you make another one of these Godforsaken videos).
But just when you’re yawning at Beyonce’s tired, phone-it-in performance, up pops Lady Gaga out of nowhere. And all you can think is ‘what the hell happened to her face?’ It’s not fair to put any other female in the same room as Beyonce really, nevermind actually committing that to film. If I were a female singer, I would have it written in my contract somewhere that I would never do a video with Beyonce. What’s the point? You’re just going to look like a steaming pile of shite next to that vision of fake-haired lovliness.
I get the distinct impression they told Gaga to dial down the crazy for this video. There are no crazy props or outfits like we’re used to seeing with her and that’s probably what makes her face so shocking. I mean, hey, she’s pretty, but her face just looks better with sunglasses on it, or a giant piece of lace covering it.
Then Beyonce and Gaga do a highly embarrassing chair dance routine that just screams high school talent show. If you’re not hiding under your desk at this point, praying for this thing to stop, there’s something genetically wrong with you.
In short, Gaga needs to bring back the crazy & Beyonce needs to take a breather, then maybe all will be right with the world once again. Until then, I’ll just feel perturbed, horrified, mystified, confused, overwhelmed, depressed and angry.