November 16, 2009 | relationships

Thanks, but No Thanks

You may recall, I recently found out that my ex, has actually, apparently, been married for 13 years and has two children. Definitely a shock to the system. So, imagine my reaction when last week, Facebook suggested that I become friends with that vermin piece of shit, otherwise known as my ex.

The whole time I knew him, he never even had a Facebook page. Actually, didn’t really have any kind of web presence (ladies, consider it a warning sign when a guy isn’t on some sort of social networking site. Instant warning flag!) He told me that was because he was in the US Navy and they weren’t supposed to be on those things (*eyebrow raise*). Though, considering every facet of his existence seems to have been a lie, he’s probably just a cleaner at Walmart or something. Anyhoo, I find it a little strange that all of a sudden, mere weeks after him casually dropping the truth about his life into a conversation, his name, with no picture, no ‘shared friends’, no nothing, should be thrown out to me by Facebook, suggesting I should befriend him.

There are lots of things I would like to do to my ex: kick him in the balls, punch him in the face, drop kick him in the chest – all viable options, but be his friend, virtually or otherwise? I think I’ll pass, Facebook, thanks though.

What the hell is up with Facebook recently anyway. It gets on my tits at the best of times, but lately it’s been flashing me messages like ‘send so-and-so a message. You haven’t talked to them for a while.’ Um, what are you? My mother? Shut it Facebook! You’re not the boss of me!

I have two hundred and something friends on there and I am fully aware that I only speak to maybe, seven of them on a regular basis. You wanna make something of it Facebook?! Stop giving me grief. The whole thing has been becoming more Big Brother-ish and weird. It just makes me uncomfortable. But hell, what’s the point in deleting your page? They keep all your information anyway. We’re locked into this crap now whether we like it or not.

I just want to chat to who I want to chat to, be friends with who I want to be friends with – is that too much to ask? So respectfully Facebook, you can take your suggestions and shove ’em!

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Okay I figured it out. He probably searched his address book for other people on Fecesbook…and didn’t add you….but the system made the connection and sent you a notice to add him. That HAS to be how it happened. I haven’t been able to sleep since you mentioned this 🙂

Vicki P

Big Brother indeed! Insane isn’t it. I’ve been pondering leaving FB too-can’t decide. I love the fact it makes keeping in touch and sharing pics with friends easy but hate the fact people know all your business. I’ve been doing a lot of culling on there and in the bizarre world of FB etiquette-randoms I barely know email me after being deleted and asky why! Purleease! Great blog as ever Mizz, keep em coming, you get me out of bed in the morning x

Sarah Finley

I hate it when people you sort of knew at school add you on FB – let alone an ex! This guy sounds like a right a**hole to me so think your better off without him! When a guy tells me there not on FB it always raises a question mark – what have they got to hide?? Obvioulsy a lot in his case!

DJ CagedBird

Ms. Bangs…I employ my journalistic background search services to you should you decide you might need some sort of closure and fuck him over in some awesome non-stalkerish. I will make his life a living hell. All you need to do is give me a name….

Smarty P. Jones

FB is the like the Blair Witch. No matter what we do, we can’t get rid of this bitch. FB has inserted itself into every facet of my life. I have even had to create a professional page because so many of my damn sources for my paying job are finding me and subsequently finding out about Smarty and I can’t have that. Smarty curses, she’s a lil’ touched and she says what’s on her mind.
Meanwhile, Tiffany articulates the Queen’s English, hides her mental deficiences well and is stiffled. I have to keep them separate or one will take over the other and there needs to be balance. FB is tryna make me blur the lines. FB is a douche. That is all.

Tyrone M.

So I’m guessing that Tiffany and Smarty never are seen at the same place. For shame.


First, I HATE that ‘You haven’t spoken to such and such’ shit. I was like “Oh really Facebook?” Fuck you. lol

It is the Gift and the Curse. I ,like many others, like talking to those that I do speak with on a semi daily basis. I hate those, however, that are only on there to be nosy, throw salt in your game, or whatever their lil motives are. Taking up space.

Family is the worst. Most of them only know ‘one side of me’ and rarely see more than twice a year so to have them ‘interject’ or act like they ‘know’ me is a pet peeve. I have cussed out more than one of them. Same with ‘friends’ from the past. Especially those that I have not seen in 18 years or so…Talking about ‘I know you…” ’cause you ‘knew’ me in the 8th grade. Shit. I didn’t KNOW ME. How the hell did you? lol

I have made countless posts on my own blog about it and have sent several ‘warning’ letters in the notes section of Facebook on the subject. Good post!!

Bangs and a Bun

MEREDITH – I think you’re right. Now go take a nap.

VICKI P – That’s the WORST when people try to contest your deletage! I’ve had that before and I was embarrassed for the person. He was actually having a go at me about it!

SARAH – Exactly. My theory now is that unless you’re willing to share your whole life online, then you are clearly stashing a few wives and illegitimate children somewhere!

DJ CAGEDBIRD – So tempting….so very, very tempting.

SMARTY – You already know how I feel about this comment. LOL.

TYRONE – Apparently not. I don’t know how she works that out and frankly, I’m scared to ask.

Bangs and a Bun

CAROLINAWARE – I’m glad I’m not the only one who finds it incredibly irritating! I do regular culls of friends on there now. I honestly probably only actively engage in conversation with a handful of my friends on there, so every now and then or after I see one too many lame status updates, I just hit ‘delete’ and I feel cleansed!


Wow, I’ve been away for a while.

That friend suggestion thing is annoying. Facebook is annoying. Twitter is the only one I can really count on now-a-days.

China Blue

Can FB really suggest random people to you, even if there isn’t a mutual friend? My privacy settings are locked down – does that have anything to do with it? I’d really like to know.

I’m really starting to hate facebook. Being told who to talk to, be friends with, being told what El Retardo groups they’re joining – it’s like the parent I’m glad I never had. I’d quite happily delete half the people on my list, but they’re mostly old school chum(p)s, and I don’t want to seem like a bitch. Meh.

Bangs and a Bun

SHE – Wow, welcome back! Where’ve you been all my life?! And yes, I agree, Twitter is the only one I can tolerate at this point.

CHINA – Yup, Facebook is a law unto itself and can do what it wants basically. If the other person has you in their email address book, when they sign up, they will automatically be suggested to you as a friend I think. It’s bollocks.

Ondo Lady

I agree that over the last year or so Facebook has got totally up it’s own ass. There was a time when it was a nice handy site for you to post pics, keep up with mates and organise your social life. Now it is just in your face like all the time. My advice to the annoying thing is GO AWAY!!

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