Thanks, but No Thanks

You may recall, I recently found out that my ex, has actually, apparently, been married for 13 years and has two children. Definitely a shock to the system. So, imagine my reaction when last week, Facebook suggested that I become friends with that vermin piece of shit, otherwise known as my ex.

The whole time I knew him, he never even had a Facebook page. Actually, didn’t really have any kind of web presence (ladies, consider it a warning sign when a guy isn’t on some sort of social networking site. Instant warning flag!) He told me that was because he was in the US Navy and they weren’t supposed to be on those things (*eyebrow raise*). Though, considering every facet of his existence seems to have been a lie, he’s probably just a cleaner at Walmart or something. Anyhoo, I find it a little strange that all of a sudden, mere weeks after him casually dropping the truth about his life into a conversation, his name, with no picture, no ‘shared friends’, no nothing, should be thrown out to me by Facebook, suggesting I should befriend him.

There are lots of things I would like to do to my ex: kick him in the balls, punch him in the face, drop kick him in the chest – all viable options, but be his friend, virtually or otherwise? I think I’ll pass, Facebook, thanks though.

What the hell is up with Facebook recently anyway. It gets on my tits at the best of times, but lately it’s been flashing me messages like ‘send so-and-so a message. You haven’t talked to them for a while.’ Um, what are you? My mother? Shut it Facebook! You’re not the boss of me!

I have two hundred and something friends on there and I am fully aware that I only speak to maybe, seven of them on a regular basis. You wanna make something of it Facebook?! Stop giving me grief. The whole thing has been becoming more Big Brother-ish and weird. It just makes me uncomfortable. But hell, what’s the point in deleting your page? They keep all your information anyway. We’re locked into this crap now whether we like it or not.

I just want to chat to who I want to chat to, be friends with who I want to be friends with – is that too much to ask? So respectfully Facebook, you can take your suggestions and shove ’em!

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