The ‘Bitch Please’ Advice Column
I saw that you’re starting an advice column so wanted to pick your brains about something.
Every time we go out to dinner, one girl in our group of friends never forks up her share of the bill. She conveniently goes to the loo as the bill arrives and comes back when we’re divvying up the money. She’ll chip in some, but never quite enough. I’m not sure if she thinks no one notices but it’s really starting to piss everyone off. She’s the type of person who gets very defensive when confronted with anything. Actually, it doesn’t even have to be a confrontation, she’s just defensive in general. It’s gone on so long because no one wants the drama that comes with pointing this out to her, but we’re all pretty sick of it. We like her as a friend, hang out together in other social situations, but this seems to be the one where her cheap tendencies are highlighted the most.
What would Bangs do?
Paying Too Much For My Meals
Dear Paying Too Much For My Meals,
Well my first question would be, why are you still inviting her out? Seriously. If it’s pissing you all off so much, there’s a pretty simple solution to that problem. I bet you once she realises she’s not getting invited anywhere, she’ll miraculously find some money.
But, if you are intent on still hanging out with this cheap ass, you have a few options. When she conveniently goes to the loo when the bill arrives, the rest of you should leave. She’ll come back to an empty table with a bill on it and angry restaurant staff demanding payment. Forking out money for the whole bill should hammer the point home that she’s been enjoying a free ride for a little too long.
Alternatively, you could actually just express all this to her. I get exactly what you mean about the defensiveness – I have a friend who’s the same way. But you know what, I refuse to live my life pussy footing around someone just because they *Jack Nicholson voice* can’t handle the truth! Sure, it’s uncomfortable for everyone, but you may have to endure a confrontation to get over this hurdle. You’re not going to approach it in a confrontational way, you’re going to just calmly make your points. All you can do is hope she’ll listen. If she throws her teddy out of the pram, well then clearly, paying her share of a restaurant bill is the least of her problems.
If she continues behaving the same way, she has lost her right to dinner invites, simple as that. By not coughing up her share, she is taking advantage of you and I bet if you really look at your friendship, her taking advantage probably extends beyond you paying for her meals. She’ll continue to do it because you’re allowing her to due to the fact that everyone is scared of her getting crazy when confronted. Grow some balls! Say what needs to be said here. Unless one of you is Bill Gates, I’m assuming that no one can really afford to be paying over the odds.
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