January 4, 2011 | fashion

Sale Hate

My God, I hate sales. I hate shopping in general really, but that hideous experience is compounded tenfold when there are sales on. The world and its mother can’t resist getting their grubby little mitts on anything that has a few pennies slashed off it. I tend to avoid these clusterfucks at all costs, but sometimes, you have no choice but to engage. A few days after Christmas I informed my parents to get some bail money ready: I was going to the sales.

All I needed was a camera, a 2011 diary and a birthday present for Mama Bangs, who had the nerve to be born on December 29th (look, all you people who were born around Christmas, enough already. Doctor your birth certificate and move that shit to June – it really makes things much easier for the rest of us). I had a plan of action, that I planned out with military precision and would not be swayed from.

I’d seen pictures in the paper of hoards of people who queued overnight to get into the Selfridges sale. You can file that under ‘Things You’ll Never Catch Me Doing.’ There was video online a few weeks ago of the Black Friday sales in the States where people literally trampled over one another to get into a Walmart, then had fist fights over a microwave. What a bunch of simpletons.

I stepped off the bus into a foggy city centre that looked like the apocalypse. People, like rats, everywhere, with bags hanging from every available appendage, darting around from shop to shop, barging, pushing, yelling. I weaved through the hoards, found my way to PC World  and located the camera I wanted. Why is it that in electronics shops, when you’re just browsing, there’s a sales assistant all the way up your ass expounding the benefits of any given product, but when you actually want to buy something, you have to go on a witch hunt to find one? When I finally hunted one down, my purchase took over ten minutes just due to the heightened madness that a sale brings.

On to WH Smith for a diary and birthday card. Parents with pushchairs the size of Land Rovers take charge of the streets and give death stares to anyone who dare get in their way. WH Smith is hell on earth, full of grannies stocking up on half price Christmas cards for next year. It took me an age for me to find anything, then the queue to pay was several lifetimes long. My goods are rung up and I open my purse only to discover that PC World guy forgot to give me my card back. I shake an angry fist as the sky and curse electronics stores the world over before charging back to the shop to retrieve my card.

Barely two shops in and I was completely zapped of energy. I stopped for a moment to just take in what was going on. As I watched people shove each other out of the way, laden with bags, shops with clothes crammed on every inch of available rail, spilling over onto the floor as people trampled over them, I suddenly felt quite sick. What a disgusting display of our greed this all is. At a time of year where we’re given time off to spend with our families to enjoy the season, we’re all out there making mindless purchases of things we most likely don’t need or even want but feel smug about nonetheless because we saved £2.

And with that, I got back on the bus and got the hell outta dodge.

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17 Comments

ghostwritermummy

ha ha great post! I went “shopping” the other day and was appalled at all the rubbish they’ve filled the shops with. I genuinely wanted to buy something, not be pushed, shoved and elbowed all in the name of grabbing a bargain. I hate the sales!
XxX

Big Fashionista

I NEVER get anything in the sales. I went out ONCE after new year and bought 3 things and they were all full price. If I didn’t want It enough to buy it when it was full price why do I want it when there is £2 off?

London Beauty Queen

Ha, this made me laugh so much. I hate sales more than anything, but still seem to be drawn back into them with the promise of finding that amazing bargain that never materializes. I’ve been into Westfield three times since Xmas and every time I’ve avoided the shops and headed to the food quarter, a much safer place to be. Sort of.

Georgina

Glad it’s not just me who hates shopping! I was taken, aged 4, to Walthamstow Market on a Saturday by my mother – who fondly remembers me saying ‘I hated it! Don’t take me there again’. Nothing much has changed. I went into Miss Sixty on NYE and had a meltdown. I wanted a pair of jeans and was confronted with about 9500 different styles.

I have one good sale story, though – one Boxing Day I braved the wilds of Oxford Street and headed for La Senza. It was RAMMED. I only had a couple of bits to buy and a desperate-looking guy, with armfuls of stuff for his girlfriend, offered to pay for my things if I let him take my place in the queue. He stayed true to his word and I got my undercrackers for free. Reeesult-ah!

The Hopeful Romantic

Oh I feel your pain – hate shopping (despite my bulging wardrobes which say otherwise). Online shopping is the way forward – especially during the sales – best way to avoid loosing my rag!

Carla

I completely agree with you – I simply can’t stop instore during the post-Christmas sales. People return to the wild.
The ASOS and River Island sales have been quite good this year, so I’ve done all my sales shopping online! 🙂

Katy

I like sales shopping, but only when it’s before I start work. Seems like the majority of evil buggywomen and idiots don’t hit the town until later on 🙂

ShandyyyLand

I can so relate!! I dispise “Black Friday” here in the states…(day after Thanksgiving, where there’s so many deals & mark downs…but if you don’t get there early enough (spend the night to be one of the first in line), to me it’s not worth it. I can’t stand the pushing, the lines & it’s just too much. I know there are deals out there, but I’m so grateful that they have gotten smart & are now offering great deals online.

Jasmine

I love shopping but I HATE SALES because the shops are just filled with the old crap nobody wanted to begin with.

Claire Nelson

THANK YOU for blogging about this! Totally agree. I’m sick to the teeth of all the photos in the papers of some grinning a-hole who has “beaten the VAT-hike” by purchasing a flat-screen TV on boxing day, or some girl who has slept on the street all night proudly holding up a pair of shoes that are more than likely not even her size, (but she’ll buy ’em anyway, because they’re on sale). It’s ridiculous. I hate the amount of consumer waste that goes on… we had a spring clean this weekend just gone and I hated the amount of stuff we owned which we didn’t need or use… and here are the masses loading up on these things!

Then there all these people freaking out and buying everything they can before the VAT goes up, without realising that in most case, they’re only saving one or two quid. Has any of them actually worked it out on a calculator?

What was even more grotesque was the amount of online shopping happening on Christmas Day. All these people ditching grandma to go and buy some cut-price crap they didn’t really want before it was on sale. SAD.

Katy

Just to clarify, our family doesn’t really do gifts at Christmas, we wait for the sales and get more for the money we would have spent. That way everyone gets more and we can just concentrate on spending time together on Christmas day! We don’t “do the sales” to save 50p on something crap!

funkyafrochick

Completely agree with all of the above! You know that you aren’t a sale person when you walk into the store and head straight for section entitled ‘new season collection’.

Fashion Limbo

Lord I hate the sales, hate them, hate them!! and everyone that goes shopping on that dreadful start day, hate you too 😛 mostly because I have worked in retail and the sales were times I hated with my guts, with my heart and every brain cell… I always wait until 2 or 3 weeks go by and if I really need anything I may browse a couple of favourite stores. If you HAVE to shop in the sales I really do feel for you.

The F$%K it list

I don’t like sales like the ones you’ve described. I however do like a sample sale and I always have such great fun, especially the ones that serve food and something to sip on.

I have never and will NEVER participate in Black Friday because people act like their lives depend on the last Wii, and as you know I have a low tolerance for pushing and shoving and he clink is nowhere for me and my Louboutins to spend Christmas.

thrutheblue

I am so with you on this! My daughter had the cheek to come 5 weeks prematurely and therefore born on jan 7th instead of feb 11th, resulting in me having to brave the disgusting thing that is sales. Sales especially disturb me in January…have people not spent enough at christmas? Are people not satisfied with the hundreds of pounds their families/lovers/friends have spent on them? Its hideously greedy! Eugh! I was in and out in an hour? Next year I’m gonna be better prepared and sort it pre-christmas!

Ms Wanda

Sales shopping should only be done from the safety of the Internet (if at all)

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