In my first relationship when I was 17, I’d just gotten my first mobile phone. Back then, you only used it if you were actually out and couldn’t be reached on your home phone. Texting was complicated and took us all a while to figure out. No one was really using email that much. Basically, the only way to know what was up with your significant other was to actually hang out with them. Fast forward to 2011 and managing your relationship has become a complete clusterfuck as we all attempt to navigate our way through the myriad of technology that now plays a part in our love lives. So, does blogging and social media ruin relationships?
It used to all be so simple. You’d go to on a date and when was over and you went back to your separate homes, you imagined they spent all their spare time thinking about you. That was much easier and much more romantic. But now, you can have a quick browse of their Facebook profile, then you see…what’s this? He commented on her photo? She’s still friends with her ex? Suddenly you can see who they talk to. Then you can jump on Twitter and follow entire conversations they’re having with other people. And you realise your relationship isn’t the little bubble you thought it was. The outside world like, exists. And you’re just observing, so it’s easy to see things that aren’t really there.
Then there’s blogging. I started my blog when I was single and very alone – most guys I dated along the way hadn’t taken much of an interest in it. My blog was my husband, child and best friend – I poured my heart out to it and into it and got no judgment. It has, quite literally, been everything to me. It wasn’t until I got into a relationship that actually matters to me that I realised I’d almost forgotten how to communicate certain things with people first, rather than my computer. I know it sounds silly, but it had never occurred to me that my significant other might find it odd that I’d share personal information with my 4000 odd Twitter followers and thousands of blog readers before I share it with him. I was just so used to doing that. I’ve come to realise, I live so much of my life online, there are parts of it I have to hold back, parts that are just for him, so he knows that I value him over 4000 strangers. But that doesn’t mean those 4000 become less a part of my life.
This is an element of relationships that we haven’t had to deal with before; blogging, social media, friendships with strangers, over sharing. We just have to navigate as we go. The degree to which you let your online relationships interfere with your real life ones is totally up to you. But really it’s just as simple as making your special someone feel special.
Has your online life affected your relationship? How do you deal with it?