Can Young Love Last?
Love came to me unexpectedly and I guess, by some standards, at age 29, rather late, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way. For me, everything had aligned perfectly over the years to lead me to this one person who’d I’d been waiting for all along (I fully understand if you all need to take a moment to puke here, I almost do myself). My early twenties were a minefield of dating disasters – each one worse than the last and I’m grateful I never took any of them too seriously. When I see young couples now, 20 years old making plans to buy houses and settle down, I can’t be the only one thinking, ‘whoa! Slow down!’, can I?
Dating is exhausting work really. When you’re not really in it for anything serious, or sometimes get your own wires crossed and think for a brief moment that you might, it just becomes a big jumble of ridiculous, irrational emotions. Everyone’s confused, there’s too many rules, but sheesh, it beats sitting home alone on a Saturday night. By my mid-twenties, a lot of my friends seemed to be settled, meanwhile, I hadn’t even taken anyone home to my parents. I wouldn’t say there was pressure, but I was definitely aware of this fact.
My grandmother was married with two kids by the time she was 21. I simply cannot imagine that life. In her time, it’s what they did. Marriage meant more. Society placed more of a value on monogamy and relationships and they understood it took work, hence why we see people now who’ve been married 50 or 60 years.
But times have changed. Those same values don’t necessarily exist. So for those who’ve grown up in a time of TV shows such as ‘Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire’ and such like, can those in their late teens/early twenties who are in serious relationships now, truly understand the magnitude of what they’re involved in? Sure, it all depends on the person, but by and large, can young love last?
I know a few people who got married in their early twenties and are still going strong. I also know younger people currently in serious relationships that have disaster written all over them but the allure of having a steady boyfriend or girlfriend is strong. Personally, certain qualities I have now that enable my relationship to work, I didn’t have ten years ago, despite thinking I was quite mature, and I think I was acutely aware of that, so never tried to get tangled up in anything too serious.
And of course, the rules of singledom are different for men and women. Men can sleep around with whomever they choose, dip in and out of the dating pool with wild abandon, while women, naturally, are deemed whores if they dare to do so. Those scales definitely need to be balanced at some point.
Everyone wants interaction, intimacy and love, but it’s OK to admit you’re not ready. It’ll come at some point. Being in too deep when you’re young may mean you miss out on a lot while you make sacrifices for that relationship. Alternatively, you may very well find ‘the one’ in your youth and spend a lifetime with them.
What do you think? Can young love last?