September 13, 2012 | life

Faking Adulthood

So you’re cruising through life, hitting all the milestones, you’ve done uni, you’ve got a job, maybe you’ve been through a few. Your social life’s great, loving your friends, then all of a sudden one day, it hits you like a ton of bricks and you’re all like ‘hold up! I’m a grown up?! When the hell did this happen?!’ Surely I can’t be the only one who feels like they’re faking adulthood. There are plenty of parts of life I feel I deal with just fine, but then there are other areas I feel totally unprepared for.

Cooking

When I was growing up, my parents did a weekly shop, our cupboards were always full. Now that I’m supposedly an adult I find myself asking ‘what the hell was in those cupboards?!’ Mama Bangs could whip up a meal at a moment’s notice. The only thing I can whip up is a slice of toast – and even then, it’s highly likely I’ll have forgotten to buy butter. Grown people have ingredients for things in their house. Every couple of days, if I happen to pass a supermarket, I’ll pick up something for dinner. I try to comfort myself by saying this is a very French way of doing things, but sadly, my way is nowhere near as chic, it’s just sheer disorganisation.

Furniture

I’d like to think that because I have a pretty good eye for fashion, that would naturally spill over into interior design, but sweet baby Jesus, how do people make decisions about how their entire house is gonna look? Real grown ups seem to have a handle on these things. I can make all the Pinterest boards I want but I’m still a big ball of confusion over how to fuse my minimalist/Moroccan/Tuscan/beach house/far East design ideas and don’t even get me started on colour schemes. And get this guys – there are other shops besides Ikea. I KNOW!

Budgeting

I distinctly remember my dad balancing a cheque book when I was a kid. I don’t even have a cheque book. Am I meant to have one? Should I be balancing it? Who the hell knows? My dad also had an accounts package on his computer – all incoming and outgoing money was logged. I have a bunch of receipts stuffed in my purse – that’s about as far along as I’ve gotten on the budgeting and ‘sorting out my finances’ front. My lack of a clue when it comes to anything financial makes me feel like an extremely fraudulent ‘adult’. What scares me most is there are people my age and younger who have negotiated mortgages and such like. Hats off to you brainiacs.

Fixing Stuff

My mother used to make my clothes – buy patterns, whip me up an outfit in a couple of days. I can just about sew a button on. And it turns out, when something in your house breaks when you’re an adult, your dad doesn’t just pop up out of nowhere with a spanner and sort it out like Superman (well, not if he lives 200 miles away at least). Parents come equipped with this inbuilt knowledge of how to clean stuff and fix things. What do I know how to do? I know how to use the internet to find someone who can do those things for me. I also then know how to stress about paying for it, since, you know, see above points about budgeting.

Is there anything you feel totally unprepared for as an adult?

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11 Comments

Fashion Bandit

I am totally with you here Bangs. I manage a weekly food shop…but beyond that….
I don’t handle my finances too well, house decoration is a complete mystery to me and, man do I wish my dad lived closer for DIY (i save him a pile of jobs for when he does visit). I feel like I am at an age where I used to look at people and think ‘yeah you are a boring grown up’. I’ve bought a house and got engaged, yet I still feel like a kid inside. Worryingly my 50-something mum said that feeling doesn’t change….xx

Rebecca

This post really made me smile. I feel exactly the same. I’m only 22, but all of a sudden I seem to have achieved all of my plans and am now stuck. It’s a really scary thought where now I have to make the decisions about my future not my lecturers, parents, peers etc, What if I make the wrong decision. It’s really nice to know that someone who I look up to and seems to have their head screwed on sometimes feels the same way too. Great post x

Laura

The fact that I have a pension freaks the hell out of me. However I still have no need for a will as I don’t think anyone really wants my old Steps CD’s or primark bags. Bangs – You can have my Nikes!

Georgina

Amen to this, sister! I am so not a grown-up. I might have a job and a flat, but I am not a grown-up. The fridge is either empty, or rammed with out of date things that might kill me. As for furniture, it’s all a jumble of her parents’ rejects, my parents’ rejects and Ikea. My flatmate and I didn’t own teaspoons for the first four months we lived there. That’s how adult I am.

Lara

All I can say is ditto! I’ve had paint samples on my bedroom wall for getting on 2 years, 2 YEARS!!

Dawn

Should I be worried that I know how to do all of those things? If they make me an adult, so be it!

Electric Plum

I absolutely love this. Right now, I’m relating to ALL these points: I’ve just moved into my first ever solo-occupied flat (I’m renting, mind – mortgage advisors are still something I can only smell faintly on the distant horizon). I’m crapping it, frankly. On the back of a break up of a nine-year relationship also, I’m currently finding myself in emotional states resonant of a three-year-old. I may be 30, but hell; it’s like nursery school at times hanging out with me. Oh, and I still laugh like a hyena at You’ve Been Framed, and enjoy those ‘What’s Your Death Metal Name?’ posts that do the rounds on Facebook. Forever 21, signing off with thanks to Bangs for making me feel less of a phoney.

Kash

I was just thinking this the other day! Luckily I have a boyfriend who can fix anything and everything, and he appears to be a real grown up. Which enables me to believe that I’ll never have to be one. Shit!

Lex

Work- everyday I get dressed up in my smart outfit (sensible Jones’ nude heels, some sort of skirt or trousers from Zara with a shirt and blazer) and strut into work, bag on arm, supping on a latte. If I’m really going in on the ‘playing dress up’, I’ll slip on some shades.

And everyday I think, will today be the day they find out I’m really not a grown up?

I’m 32. I’ve had a career (not just a job, a career) since the age of 18 and yet I can’t escape the feeling that one day, someone will discover I’m just playing dress up and I’ve blagged my way in.

My only consolation is that my mother – who is nearly 60 – feels exactly the same way. Perhaps we’re all just young at heart?!

Frecklesandfro

I feel like a seriously fraudulent adult. Interior designing fill me with both excitement and dread. I think my house might look like two year olds artwork. While double entry account keeping? Don’t get me started.

Fleur

I have the same trouble with all of these. I have half painted walls in my flat from when I moved in 7 years ago! Luckily, when things break, my dad *does* po up with a spanner. 😉

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