When I was single, I thought I knew everything about relationships. The ones I was having and everybody else’s. I was vocal about it – piping up at any available opportunity spouting whatever bit of Oprah-esque advice I felt suited the situation. Yes, I was that douchebag. What I failed to realise though, is that my opinion on how others choose to conduct their relationships is exactly none of my business. Your relationship is just that; yours. So before you choose to divulge information about it or give advice on someone else’s, you may want to consider keeping your mouth shut and your nose out of it.
I’ve learned so many great things in my relationship. It has helped me grow enormously. When you find your person and things just click, there are few feelings better than that. The biggest lesson of course, has been the art of compromise. See, in my little checklist I made for myself when I was single about all the things I wouldn’t stand for in a relationship, the one thing I forgot to do was remove my head from my ass and consider the other person. When you’re faced with that for the first time in a relationship, it’s quite the wake up call.
As women, popular culture teaches us that all men are dogs, everyone’s gonna cheat, the man should pay for everything, we can have it all. Between Destiny’s Child anthems and reality TV, it’s clear why our expectations of life in a relationship have been somewhat skewed. The truth is, sometimes it gets hard and contrary to what popular culture has taught us, you most likely won’t down tools and leave as soon as it does. Some things are worth working on.
Your relationship is YOUR relationship. What works for the two of you is all that matters. You know the ins and outs of it. You have your arrangement and it keeps things ticking along just fine. The opinions of those around you about how they would handle your situation are useful for what exactly? They are not you.
I understand when things aren’t going well perhaps your urge is to discuss that with a close friend, but be wary of what you share. Said friend may not always have your best interests at heart (despite their ‘bestie’ status) and if you’re only ever sharing the problems you go through, others get a skewed perception of your significant other, most likely a negative one.
Nobody understands your relationship except you. Respect it, protect it and value it. The way it is conducted is to be decided by the people in it and no one else.