Archive for the ‘relationships’ Category

Your Relationship is YOUR Relationship

Thursday, October 10th, 2013

Love

When I was single, I thought I knew everything about relationships. The ones I was having and everybody else’s. I was vocal about it – piping up at any available opportunity spouting whatever bit of Oprah-esque advice I felt suited the situation. Yes, I was that douchebag. What I failed to realise though, is that my opinion on how others choose to conduct their relationships is exactly none of my business. Your relationship is just that; yours. So before you choose to divulge information about it or give advice on someone else’s, you may want to consider keeping your mouth shut and your nose out of it.

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Is it Sexual Assault if…?

Monday, March 18th, 2013

Stop Sign

In last week’s episode of Girls, there was a really disturbing scene. I’ve been trying to process it since. It made me feel all manner of uncomfortable things and anger and sadness and disappointment and disgust. A woman was sexually violated in a pretty awful way and when the scene ended, you were left thinking, what the hell just happened? Except it’s clear what just happened. Then you go online or talk to friends and hear debates about it and realise that not everyone shares the same view of what should be pretty cut and dried. Except it isn’t. Because rape is still one big grey area. And with each new debate, we realise just how much more conversation needs to happen. We need to talk about rape.

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Posted in life, relationships | 18 Comments »

I Got Catfished

Wednesday, February 20th, 2013

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

I wrote about the documentary Catfish when it first came out. Recently, I’ve been seeing the term ‘Catfish’ bandied around online more and after some investigation, discovered the guy behind the Catfish documentary, now has a TV show of the same name on MTV. For those of you unfamiliar with what exactly ‘Catfish’ means, it’s when people have an online relationship and it turns out one (or both) of the parties involved aren’t exactly everything they made themselves out to be. Ahh, people making up false identities online – always a good time. Or not, as the case may be. And I know this, because….dun dun duuuunnnn….I once got Catfished.

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How Do You Make Friends As An Adult?

Wednesday, January 16th, 2013

Beach exercise

Making friends when you’re a kid is so easy. Basically the only entry requirement is liking the same colour – as long as you have that much in common, you’re best friends forever. You can bond over that shiznit for hours when you’re seven, breaking down the infinite shades of emerald that bring you joy and that’s enough for a lifelong bond. That person often ends up quite literally being your friend for life. But as you grow older, leave high school and university and find yourself in all these new situations, all of a sudden you’re late twenties/early thirties feeling like, ‘hold up, how did I ever make friends?’ It’s something that is rarely discussed, but seriously, how do you make friends as an adult?

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The Art of Disagreeing

Tuesday, October 9th, 2012

So you know what’s gotten a little out of hand lately? The need to have the last word. I blame the internet. (It’s easiest). No but really though, the internet seems to have brought out this weird thing in us where we must a) have all our arguments, disputes and disagreements in the public sphere and b) never let anything go. Ever. Growing up, the general message when it came to confrontation was to be somewhat gracious, especially in defeat, the internet has birthed a culture of ‘don’t back down, even if you’re wrong and making a complete ass of yourself, don’t back down.’ I got to wondering the other day, can’t we just go back to the time where we can just let some stuff slide?

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Building Self Confidence

Monday, October 8th, 2012

Our internal dialogue is a funny ol’ thing. It takes us on a journey each and every day – bigging us up during our triumphs, sending us into wallowing states of despair at other times, that pesky little voice dictates how we feel about ourselves for better or worse. Many let the words of others weigh in on their personal value but I disagree – people should really be able to say whatever they want about you, but it’s only how you feel about yourself that matters (I’m not saying people should be complete assholes to you but ultimately, how that effects you says more about you than them). What I’ve noticed, especially among women is that the negative voice chatters loudly away under the surface and I got to thinking the other day, why are we so mean to ourselves?

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Men Love Abuse – Oh Really?

Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

So, I’m browsing Kitty Bradshaw’s lovely blog the other day and come across her post about Tionna Smalls’ new book ‘Men Love Abuse.’ Rather baffled by the title to begin with, I read on and concluded I will not be purchasing this fine piece of literature. In a time where so much energy is devoted to finding a significant other, I really can’t get on board with the age old theory of ‘just be f*cking awful to each other and you’ll get married.’ Surely we should’ve come up with some more advanced schools of thought by now.

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The Mother Vs Non-Mother Divide

Wednesday, June 13th, 2012

Ahh ladies, we’re a complicated breed. We really are. I don’t know what it is or why we do it, but it seems we often have wars going on with each other. As if the every day trials and tribulations of this roller coaster estrogen-fest we’re on isn’t hard enough, apparently, we feel the need to throw a few spanners around and complicate it for each other. Nowhere has this been more evident to me of late than with the mother vs non-mother divide. There are weird vibes man and I’m not entirely sure what it’s all about, but I’m here to see if we can’t all align our chakras and calm the hell down.

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On Guilt, Shame & Getting Over It

Thursday, June 7th, 2012

I’ve shared a lot of my life on this blog. Some things haven’t been easy to share, much like this post today, which will most likely be my hardest. I’ve kept this experience buried for about three years under thick layers of guilt and shame. I’ve analysed and overanalysed why it is I feel the way I do about it and well, suffice to say, I’m sure a lot of women will relate. And so, in the interests of this blog being a place that hopefully provokes thought, discussion and helps people, I felt it was time to share.
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Stopping Friends Becoming Foes

Thursday, May 10th, 2012

Friendships are a funny old game. I don’t think I’ve ever really been very good at them to be honest. A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine decided to ‘break up’ with me, if you will, citing my truly sucky friendship skills. She was right, to be fair – I have not been the greatest amigo. It’s a sad loss, but one that has been rather sobering for me. While there’s nothing I can really do about the loss of that friendship, there’s still time for me to learn some lessons and buck up my ideas, so what have I learned?

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