Posts Tagged ‘embarrassing things’

Guilty Pleasures

Thursday, November 5th, 2009

I did this a while ago with my iPod secrets – shared with you certain tunes that I’m slightly embarrassed to have in my collection, but will bust a move to in private, regardless. I figured it was time I did one for movies.

We all have those movies that we won’t admit we like, but God forbid they come on a cable channel on a Sunday afternoon – you’ll turn your phone off, close the curtains and have a lock in so you can enjoy it in peace. Here’s a few of mine:

Mrs Doubtfire

If Mrs Doubtfire is on TV, don’t call me. I’m busy. Robin Williams was a comedy genius in this movie. I don’t even like slapstick, but it all works here. Such a simple concept, but played out with such brilliance. There really wasn’t much point in anyone else being in this movie, but that little girl had to be thrown in for the cute factor (despite the fact that she said all her lines at an unhumanly slow pace). So, if Mrs Doubtfire is on, you can find me chucking popcorn down my neck and big belly laughing.

My Girl

I remember when this movie came out and I went to see it at the cinema with my school friend. I was probably all of ten years old and even then, I was never the one who would blubber in the movie theatre. But now, throw on that scene with Thomas J’s funeral and are you kidding me? I trigger a frikkin’ tsumani! Every girl loved Macauly Culkin and the lead character’s name was Vada Sultenfuss. What’s not to love about that? And she had a crush on her teacher. Helloooo, did we not all have a crush on our teacher at that age? So yes, if My Girl is on TV and you have invited me out, I will be ‘running errands’ (which is always code for ‘watching My Girl, sniffling into tissues and eating icecream’).

Annie

I may have looked like a Fraggle when I was younger, but I didn’t have it as bad as Annie, because she was an orphan. Is it just me, or did she make living in an orphanage look kinda fun? She’s singing and dancing all day, she gets to hang out with that dog. Then she gets scooped up by some rich dude, given some cool threads and lives the high life? I think you’ll find, Annie was a pimp. And hells yes, you better believe that when this comes on TV, I sing and dance along. Stop judging me!

Ahh, I feel cleansed.

Alright, so I’ve shared. Now it’s your turn. Come on, spill it – what are your movie guilty pleasures?

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Ruing the Day

Friday, October 23rd, 2009

Do you have any regrets? You’re probably saying ‘no, because there’s a lesson in everything,’ right?

Bitch please!

Oh sure, there’s lessons we learn along the way, but you’re kidding yourself if you honestly think you don’t regret some of the dumb choices you’ve made in life. I have a whole village of regrets and a river runs through it! Here’s a little sample of things which will thankfully stay in the Bangs Vault of Shameful Things Past:

My Tie Dye/Doc Martin Phase


Whew Lord. I mean, I was young, but not too young to be bitch slapped. This ‘phase’ of mine lasted about 2 years. I had tie dye dungarees for God’s sake! Dungarees! Oh, for shame! In my mind, I was Angela Chase from My So Called Life (quick side bar: I’m still pissed that show got canceled after only one season), but the kids at school saw it differently. I went to school in Chav central, so my hippie chic was kind of lost on them. And unlike Angela Chase, I didn’t have a sexy ass Jordan Catalano following me around. None of the guys were turned on by the tie dye laces in my Doc Martins, I guess.

My Eye Liner Worn as Lip Liner Phase


This came right after the tie dye phase. I decided to go all the way to the other end of the spectrum. I cut all my hair off, wore jeans for the first time and decided that dark brown eye liner lining my lips would be a good look. Ahh, the sweet smell of rebellion. This time, my mother did try to tell me on multiple occasions that I looked like a wanker, but I was convinced that looking as scary as possible was the way forward. Ironically, there are many women with bad perms still rocking this look in Alabama.

My Tattoo


When I was 17, no one was gonna stand in the way of me getting a tattoo. After lengthy discussions with my parents, I decided to get…oh yes…the Japanese kanji for ‘love’ tattooed on my belly. Does it get any more cliche than that? (Well, actually it does, I could have gone with the ‘rose on the shoulder’ or the ‘heart with an arrow through it on the upper arm’) The only saving grace here is that no one ever sees it (I tend to not roam the streets in just my bra, however tempted I may be to do so). If my life takes an unexpected turn and doesn’t go the way I think it will (ie, a lonely, barren existence that ends when I die) and I actually ever have kids – when I’m pregnant, this tattoo will just be a bunch of random lines on my belly. Or, Japanese people will think I’m an extremely loving person.

My Dating a Crackhead Phase


I’m referring to the actual, literal crackhead I dated when I was 19, but really pretty much any man I’ve dated falls into the crackhead category. But, for the sake of this ‘ruing the day’ exercise, let’s stay with the actual crackhead. Surely yes, we can say there were some lessons learned, but if I had my time again, would I date him? Hell to the motherbitchin’ NO!

There are countless more examples I can give from my 20s (mainly involving men I should have never even have given my phone number to, let alone dated), but I don’t want to bore you with all that.

So, what are some of your regrets?

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Posted in life | 15 Comments »