Thursday, June 21st, 2012
Last week I was lucky enough to be invited up to Birmingham for Ladies Day at the AEGON Classic tennis tournament. I watched a third round matched between Roberta Vinci and the British third seed Heather Watson. It was my first time watching tennis live, so it was quite a buzz. Sadly, Watson lost, two sets to one, but as I watched her duke it out with her older, more experienced opponent, it was quite fascinating to see how much of a part one’s mindset plays in these matters. Whether in sport or in life, it’s all about positive thinking.
Monday, January 3rd, 2011
Those who keep up with my Field of Dreams movement know how I feel about the power of positive thinking, so when I saw this T Shirt, you know it spoke to me. We all start out the year with great intentions, to try something new, to fix things in our lives – having a visual that reminds you of that and keeps you on track is a great thing.
This T Shirt is designed by Antonio Marsocci, a business and life coach. It’s £48, which truth be told, I think is far too steep for a T Shirt but I like the message regardless.
So, when thinking about your goals, today and every day, think positive.
Go to www.thinkpositiveliving.co.uk for more info.
Thursday, January 28th, 2010
I’ve been doing a positive thinking course (stifle your laughter please). It’s at some sort of Buddhist centre. Actually, I’m not sure if they’re Buddhists, but they’re overly nice, calm people who are really positive and do meditation. During each session, our teacher leads us in a guided meditation. I suck at meditation. I’ve tried it a few times and find it impossible. Whatever that ‘stillness’ thing is that people have, I don’t got it.
So while everyone else sits there zoning out, here’s what’s happening in my world:
*teacher turns on CD. Airy fairy new age music comes on. The voice of God (or some dude who sounds suspiciously like him), starts talking, ‘You are positivity, you are relaxed, you are a shining light’ and other such musings*
Alright cool. so I’m positive, I’m relaxed, I’m light. This fellas voice is pretty deep. It’s cool how they put that echo-y sound effect on it. That music in the background’s about to drive me nuts already. Jeez, if they want people to switch their brains off and have no thoughts, they should really play some Coldplay. The voice of Chris Martin would put me in a coma or bore me to tears. Can you cry during meditation? Do people do that? Is that allowed? Maybe crying’s reserved for those crazy evangelists who speak in tongues and all that. I’m not into these tights I’m wearing anymore. Liked ‘em when I got ‘em. Not so much now. That fella sitting over there has holes in his socks – bet he thought no one noticed. How could I not notice? There was more hole than actual fabric. How can you let it get to that stage? Seriously guy, how much is a pair of socks? I can’t wait til I can play an actual tune on the piano. I really want to be able to play cards. I’m not sure which game. Maybe Black Jack. That sounds pretty cool. I could work the tables in Vegas. I don’t even know what that means.
I am positivity. I am relaxed. I am a shining light.
Do I have to keep my eyes closed? I can look around and still concentrate and stay focused. I mean, I’m not focused right now, but maybe if I was allowed to look around it might help. God I’m hungry. There’s no need for this session to be an hour and a half. I wish it was acceptable for just icecream to be a staple meal as an adult. I desperately need to cut my bangs. Should I go to Paris for my birthday? Maybe somewhere different. This carpet is really springy. Why are they making us sit in chairs when we could be lying on this plush carpet? What a waste. There must be an iPhone app that can help you meditate. I’m positive, I’m positive, I’m positive. I wonder what Idris Elba’s doing right now. I really want some new shoes. I am literally gonna end up like the old woman who lived in her shoe. My eye hurts. This music is driving me crazy. How am I meant to relax with those same three chords piercing through my soul? Yeah, positive, shining light blah blah. I haven’t been to the theatre in a bit. I really wish I had a French boyfriend. Actually any kind of boyfriend will do. Two legs and a penis, those are my only requirements. But if he’s French then we’re really talking. Or we wouldn’t be ’cause I wouldn’t understand what he was saying, but yeah.
Oh what? Oh we’re done? Yeah, yeah, I feel totally in the zone man. Totally meditated, relaxed, totally channeling my shining light vibes. Yeah.
Wednesday, September 10th, 2008
The last time I was in an educational establishment, I was the teacher (yep, there’s a whole area of Tokyo speaking terrible English, thanks to me), but being a student again brings about mixed feelings. On the one hand, I’m glad I’m doing something to better myself and get me one step closer to the global domination that is, my ultimate goal. On the other hand, I’m studying something I’m not familiar with and there’s a very high possibility I will look like a complete dunce.
I centred my whole day around the fact that I was going to class that evening. I’d arranged to leave work early and I must have reminded my boss of this point at least four times. On my lunch break, I went shopping for school supplies, then I gave myself a slap when I realised we’d be doing everything on computers anyway, so I should stop being an utter loser.
I finally left work and biked down to the college. I got caught in a storm on the way. The rain was pelting me so hard I cursed like a sailor the whole way. I got there, locked up my bike, battled through the crowds to find which room I was in, only to find I was in a whole other building. I went back out into the rain, unlocked my bike and rode to the next location. With minutes to spare, I rushed into the classroom only to realise that the white top I was wearing was soaked through. I may as well have introduced myself ‘Hi, I’m Muireann. And these are my breasts.’ I took up residence in the back row to avoid any embarrassment.
Things in class moved quickly and I struggled to keep up. Yes, I am that annoying one who asks all the questions, but I paid my money like everyone else, so shuddupayaface!
Things went smoothly until the teacher decided to do a little roll call of names to see who was there. As we know, that never goes well for me. This guy butchered my name beyond belief. Usually I recognise it even among all the mispronunciation, but this one threw me for a loop, to the point where I figured I just wasn’t on the list at all. Once the error was realised, the predictable discussion about the lack of correlation between spelling and pronunciation took place. Ummm, can we just Photoshop random peoples heads on the wrong bodies please?
Anyway, lesson of the day: edumacation is good. Sitting through it with a straight face when you look like a contestant in a wet T Shirt competition, is even better.
Tuesday, December 4th, 2007
I got my hands on a copy and flipped through the pages excitedly. Even the cover art made it seem as though I had stumbled upon some ancient treasure. Several pages in and they were still building the suspense. I was starting to get bored. Then it finally told me the Secret; Thoughts Become Things. Hmm. That’s it? Thoughts become things?
I decided to give it a chance and kept reading. I started to feel empowered. I can create my own reality through my thoughts. The Laws of Attraction. Like attracts like. It all seemed so simple. Just put the positive vibes out there and it all falls into place. The universe aligns and you can get anything you want. It even goes so far as to say that the universe is ‘an inexhaustible storehouse of goodies from which you can command whatever you desire from the comfort of your own living room by following three simple steps; Ask, Believe, Receive.’ Wow. I better put my orders in ASAP.
Empowered by all the positive thinking, I threw that boomerang of good vibes out there and waited for it to come gliding back to me. When it finally came back, it clobbered me over the head as my boyfriend dumped me and I was laid off my job. Hmm, I’m pretty sure that’s not how that whole ‘like attracts like’ thing was meant to work. Someone, somewhere fucked with my good vibrations!
I referred back to the book and according to all the ‘philosophers’ in there, I asked for this. They say if I just keep sending my positive thoughts out into the universe, they’ll come back to me in due time. Well, can the universe hurry the hell up? My rent’s due!
I can appreciate the concept of The Secret, but have a couple of gripes. First off, considering how many copies the book sold, it’s not a ‘secret’ anymore. I don’t feel like I’m part of a privileged inner circle and when my girlfriends told me secrets in the playground, they were a damn site more exciting than “The vibrations of mental forces are the finest and consequently the most powerful in existence’. So many people have read this book that the number of shiny, happy, eternally optimistic people walking around is bound to get really annoying. And if like truly attracts like, then that must apply to everything, right? So, the victims of rape, displacement and genocide in Darfur, are they asking for that? I think not.
Well, here’s my ‘Secret’; sometimes the universe wants to take a dump and it’s just your turn to be the toilet. C’est la vie. Life is full of hills and valleys. Sometimes we’ll be optimistic; sometimes we’ll lose faith and be pessimists. And no matter how many positive vibes I put out there, Brad will probably never leave Angelina for me. So, while I wait in vain for the Jolie-Pitts to as least consider a trial separation, I think I’ll just take the rough with the smooth as usual. My mother always told me it’s not good to keep secrets anyway.