Wednesday, October 27th, 2010
Try as I might to avoid it every year, Halloween just doesn’t seem to want to go away. I don’t get the fascination. I don’t really get the fancy dress craze in general. Surely the satisfaction wears off after the initial two seconds that someone acknowledges the ‘genius’ of the outfit you put together. Then what do you do with the rest of your night? You’re bandaged up like a mummy and can’t even use the bathroom unattended. Hardly seems like the height of glamour. But what really bothers me is that Halloween is now essentially just a giant slut fest.
Seriously, you can’t get any more imaginative than a naughty nurse? A cheerleader? A catholic school girl? *Yawn* When every two bit drunken skank is roaming the streets this weekend dressed like that, whose eye are you hoping to catch. And God forbid you do catch some dude’s eye (who will no doubt be dressed as either Bill Clinton or the Incredible Hulk, which seem to be the only two male Halloween costumes available) what exactly does that say about him? Will you have to pull off the catholic school girl look three times a week for the rest of your life in order to get laid? That’s too much of a commitment.
Also, ladies you should probably be aware that when you dress fairly provocatively every other day of the year, the only way you can push the envelope come Halloween is to rock up to the party completely buck nekkid shooting bottle tops out your hooha. Why do you think your cleavage busting out of a tight PVC number is special on Halloween when you dress like that on any given Tuesday. Bitch please. Try harder.
I just don’t get what dressing up is bringing to the party table. Good music, some booze and cool people are what make a good party in most cases – what is the addition of costumes really doing? Great, you dressed up as Lady Gaga. *shrug* Oh, you’re Snooki from Jersey Shore? Awesome. *awkward silence* *tumbleweeds* If anything, I imagine that’s actually more of a party killer than anything else.
But really it just comes down to when do we grow up, you know? There’s certain things that are for kids and we should just let them have it. Halloween is one of those things. Stop trying to steal their trick or treat limelight. Let them just annoy people with the ringing of doorbells and begging for candy. Why try to upstage them with your nip slips, PVC and giant afro wigs? And while we’re at it, stop trying to steal April Fools from the youth too. It’s not fair and it’s not right. Just grow up already!