Friday, September 25th, 2009
The amount of paternity testing on Maury Povich’s show concerns me greatly. Considering it’s supposed to be a talk show, it has been reduced to one solitary topic: who’s my baby daddy? How do so many women not know? I’ve seen women on there for the 18th time, testing yet another poor bugger . Exactly how many men were you sleeping with at the time you got pregnant? Wowza, I’m struggling to find one man, meanwhile, these chicks are sleeping with 57 dudes in the space of a few weeks!
I truly cannot fathom why anyone would want this mess broadcast on TV. One would think it’s a rather embarrassing predicament to be in. What I really don’t understand is why, when they are told that their latest victim is NOT the father, these women inevitably scream, cry and run backstage. Umm, why? Are you trying to hide? You’re on TV bitch! The camera follows her back there to get a close up of her crying, pounding the wall with her fists, screaming ‘WHHYYY?!?!’ The answer is pretty simple and it has to do with your unfamiliarity with condoms.
But since the people over at Maury Povich seem to be struggling to come up with concepts for new shows, I have an idea. The next logical step when dealing with people who routinely engage in unprotected sex, would be to have a show where you get them on and test them for STDs.
Maury removes a piece of paper from an envelope and looks at his guest for a few moments to prolong the tension.
‘Lydia……you do NOT have gonorrhea.’ Lydia let’s out a sigh of relief, the crowd whoops and cheers. ‘But that’s not all Lydia,’ says Maury, with dramatic flair. ‘You DO have genital warts.’
Lydia screams, cries and runs back stage with the camera following her. Yeah, the part of the show where the people are stupid will remain the same, in fact, it’s pretty much a prerequisite.