Monday, June 21st, 2010
If you live in a country other than America, the past week or so of your life has most likely been consumed by football. (America, that’s actual football, not what you call football which is a bunch of burly dudes in padding and lycra whose feet never actually even go near a ball). I don’t know about you, but I, for one, welcome any sort of relief from football hooliganism, St George’s flags, those goddamn vuvuzelas (and our crappy England team). And relief is upon us my friends, in the form of Wimbledon.
Let’s just take a moment to applaud a classier sport. There’ll be no blowing of loud obnoxious horns. Just regular clapping and the occasional ‘woot!’ Strawberries and cream, people sitting on the hill by Wimbledon watching it on the big screen – it’s all very civilised.
I’ll be honest, I’m not really all that into a lot of sports. I like watching boxing (topless men beating the crap out of each other, what’s not to love?), those Ultimate Fighter contests (semi-naked men grappling and wrestling – what’s not to love?), basketball (tall men in shorts, what’s not to love?) – I think you get the gist of what I’m looking for in a sport. But tennis, I do genuinely admire the skill of. When it’s played well, it’s really quite beautiful. But of course, a girl’s gotta stay interested, so may I present to you, exhibit A and B of tennis hotness:
Oh yeah, Mr Roddick and Mr Nadal can keep a girl interested alright.
I’m sad to say, ladies tennis doesn’t excite me quite as much, mainly because it’s annoying as hell. I read someone that while the male tennis players on the circuit all get on and there’s a good deal of camaraderie, surprise surprise, it’s supposedly a complete bitchfest amongst the female players. Oh ladies, why can’t we just all get along?! Talk about playing up to stereotypes. It’s all a little embarrassing.
I want to support women’s tennis, of course I do, but it all comes off a bit ‘she just pulled my hair in the changing rooms before we came out here.’ I hate it when the press focus more on what female players are wearing than how they’re playing, but who can blame them? It seems too many of the players are more concerned about that than they’re game themselves. I swear if Venus shows up wearing anything even remotely similar to her French Open outfit of choice, I quit being a spectator of this shambles altogether.
Seriously though, why was she dressed like a $2 hooker?
And then there’s the grunting. Jesus Christ, the grunting! My God. Highly irritating and not in the least bit attractive. Remember when that guy rushed on the court and stabbed Monica Seles in the back of the neck? It might have been to stop her making that God awful noise.
So, I’ll just take the men’s game, thanks. None of the ‘who’s wearing what’ (though whenever Wimbledon decide to bring in that ‘No T Shirts’ rule for men, it will get my full backing) and not quite so much grunting. Let’s just hope that someone other than that smarmy Federer wins this year.
Thursday, June 26th, 2008
Just because Kanye does it, don’t make it right. When I look out my venetian blinds in the morning, you know what I don’t think? ‘Hey, I wanna see like this all the time!‘ What useful purpose do these glasses serve? They’re the kinds of things that you get in a christmas cracker (albeit, a huge one) and throw out on Boxing Day because you realise they’re shit. So far, I have seen two people wearing these on the streets of Toronto and I felt an overwhelming urge to lash out. So I would say for the safety of everyone in the city, it’s best that no one else even attempts to wear these.
Socks and Crocs
Come on people. Do I really have to go over this again? We have already established that Crocs are the devil’s work. There is nothing to be done. They are beyond redemption. We know this. So why are some people trying to accessorize that shit? Socks with the crocs? I saw some woman rocking this a couple of weeks ago and damn near puked all over myself. Why would anyone think that is anywhere near appropriate. Must I remind you that we live in a CITY, a very cosmopolitan city at that? So, if you’re a woman and you don’t want to leave your house in stilettos or a fashionable flat, you should really stay your ass in the suburbs. But seriously, don’t ever go to the downtown core of one of the biggest cities in North America rockin’ socks and crocs. What the hell is wrong with you? I cannot single handedly elevate Toronto to ‘Fashion Capital’ status (though Lord knows, I’m trying) – a little help here people!
Over the Top Wimbledon Fashions
Oh Serena, this is a tad much, non? Who do you think you are? Me? This is totally what I would wear if I was ready to destroy the competition at Wimbledon. The only difference is, I would not actually play and ruin a perfectly good outfit with perspiration. It’s a sin. I’m all for showing a bit of flair for style at your work place, but you may as well be wearing stilettos out there for all the good the trench coat’s doing you (and yes, I totally would wear stilettos on centre court, but that’s not the (match) point). Just throw on some Nikes, a sports bra and one of those little pleated skirts and hit a ball around already.