Monday, November 12th, 2012
I’m sure there isn’t a woman reading this who hasn’t been harassed in the street by men. From lewd comments, to inappropriate touching or full on groping, I am yet to meet a woman can’t recount a tale of feeling scared/petrified/unsafe/stressed/belittled/ashamed and plenty of other adjectives by those situations. I was sexually harassed last week in my local corner shop and virtually had to run home to escape the two men who were doing it. I vented a little on Twitter about how I loathe having to watch my back and always be aware of those situations. I ended by saying to parents who were raising sons, to please ensure they’re being raised to respect women. And with that, naturally, I got some backlash from men. We have now reached a stage where you can’t talk about women’s rights or sexism without men chiming in to try to make things ‘equal’. News flash fellas – IT’S NOT!
Monday, April 11th, 2011
There are few times in life I’m ever ashamed of being Canadian, but when I heard recently of a rape case over there where the Judge gave the attacker a two year conditional sentence (rather than the suggested three year jail term normally doled out in these cases) because the victim, as the Judge put it, ‘invited’ her rape, well, I would have happily handed over my Canadian passport that day. Victim blaming is hardly new but it seems to be on the rise and women now can’t even rely on the very resources that were supposedly put in place to protect us.
Wednesday, July 21st, 2010
Every now and then I write something on this here blog and the reaction sometimes astounds me. That’s just what happened last week when I wrote a post about being ladylike. While I knew there would obviously be people who would disagree with me, I didn’t expect people to find the mere concept of respecting oneself and having a little decorum and manners offensive. Feminism has truly done a number on our generation.
And please, before you get your already twisted knickers into an even bigger knot, take a Xanex and chill the hell out for a second. Believe it or not, I do actually consider myself a feminist. I believe in my rights and the rights of women everywhere, all over the world and Lord knows, I’m very vocal about that. So, when, as one of the more ludicrous comments I’ve ever had on this blog suggested that particular blog post meant that I don’t believe in women’s right to vote, I could do nothing but slam my head against my desk.
Let me be clear: I believe in being a lady, I believe in the power of presentation and take great pride in the way I choose to present myself. I wear lipstick and heels. None of that, has one iota to do with my rights as a woman. None of it. Nowhere in that blog post did I say we should all be meek and mild and only speak when spoken to. If you read this blog regularly or know me in person, you would know that I am far from fitting into the meek and mild category. I’m exceptionally opinionated, sometimes about things I have no business having an opinion on, but I’ll damn well have one – you know why? Because women like my grandmother lived through a time where her voice didn’t count.
But I can’t say I’m mad at that commenter. She, like the others who said the post is a giant step back for feminism are merely misguided. I think when most people think of feminism, they think of burning bras and hairy arm-pitted women stripping themselves of all the ideals a patriarchal society weighed us down with. Well ladies, how about you move it forward 40 years or so? Believe it or not, the movement has progressed somewhat. Feminists now come in all forms.
The ‘Laddette’ movement in the 90s is largely responsible for women being so outraged at the idea of behaving like a lady. According to that, we should be trying to go toe to toe, pound for pound with men, drink them under the table, have emotionless, promiscuous sex, belch, fart and curse your way around town with the lads. If that’s what you want to do, more power to you – but just because I choose to not conduct myself that way, it does not make me less of a woman and certainly not less of a feminist. I don’t feel as though I have to hate men or let my armpit hair grow to make that point.
How people find the concept of ladies not being drunk in public or fighting, or getting into a car with their knees together offensive, truly does baffle me. But hey, if you don’t want to do that, that’s your right, thank goodness. However, to make out as if I’m setting women back by suggesting we should conduct ourselves with a little decorum? Well, you can (and I mean this in as polite and ladylike way as possible), quite frankly, kiss my lipstick wearing, high heeled ass.
Cosmopolitan has launched its Blog Awards and I would be so grateful and honoured if you would take a moment to nominate Bangs and a Bun in the ‘Lifestyle’ category. It only takes a second and I will love you long time if you do. Click here and make my day. Thank you!