October 12, 2015 | life

Ditch Fear, Channel Abundance


I’ll tell ya what, Interwebs: I’ve had one helluva year of learning. Just lessons on lessons on lessons. Often big, scary, life changing lessons, but ones the universe had to bitch slap me around the face with for me to learn. Suffice to say, it was a necessary process. In conversations with friends last week, one theme came up consistently around control and fear – which are two things I’ve had to get a handle on this year. So many people are so caught up with hitting certain life goals, wanting their career, relationships or living arrangements to go a certain way, they try to control every little thing around it. But here’s the thing: we only have but so much control. Bottom line, if it’s meant for you, it’ll happen. If you have to keep forcing it, let it go. That right there can be applied to anything in life.

My friend and I were discussing over brunch at the weekend how this can all be boiled down to one word: abundance. Not a lot of people believe in that. We’re all operating from this standpoint that everything is finite. I’m here to tell ya, back up the truck a lil’ bit amigos – there is enough. Of what? you say. Of whatever it is you’re looking for.

Example: you’re in a relationship that ain’t going the way you want. You haven’t admitted that out loud yet, but you know it’s true. It ain’t ticking certain boxes for you, there are elements of it that make you uncomfortable. Being in said relationship is, on some level, holding you back from your best life, but you stay. Why? Because what if you don’t find someone else?

Love is not finite. There is enough to go around. If you leave a crappy relationship, you will find love again – a bigger, better, brighter love that serves the purpose it needs to in your life. But you stay because of fear, because you don’t believe in abundance.

The same goes for anything in life really. We let fear hold us back, usually for one of three reasons:

1. Because we believe we can never do better.

2. We don’t want to go through the struggle to figure it out.

3. We don’t trust that, one way or another, the universe will figure it out.

And so we stay; stuck, unhappy, frustrated, because we just don’t want to let go. We can’t let go of the idea of the dream house, the perfect partner, the wish to conceive children naturally, the self-made career – whatever it may be. But you have so much control over any of those things. At some point, you have to relinquish some control over to the universe and just see what happens. Don’t force it.

One day, the right solution just saunters into your life, usually with no bells or whistles – just like it was meant to be there all along. It doesn’t come with stomach churning anxiety, sleepless nights or a million tears shed – and you know what? That’s how you know it’s right.

Time to take a little chance on abundance.

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YES to this. I was listening to a podcast about a scarcity vs abundance mindset over the weekend, it feels a bit like there’s lots of things conspiring to tell me to have a bit more faith in the universe.

Marianne Cantwell

Brilliant piece! Not just relationships: “but you stay. Why? Because what if you don’t find someone else?” can be applied so much – will be sharing. Mx

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