Make yourselves comfy peeps. I need to tell you a lil story about how the universe will just show up and restore your faith in life and the divine order of things.
On Saturday night, I noticed my dog (the most awesome pup in all the land, Stringer Bell) wasn’t very well. It seemed to come out of nowhere. I made the mistake of Googling his symptoms, which then rapidly led to me planning dog funerals (I know – I went from 0-100 REAL quick). According to everything I was reading, things looked really bleak for my lil dude. I was distraught. I made him as comfortable as I could to sleep that night in the hope that his symptoms would’ve subsided somewhat by morning.
Sunday morning, there was little change. I was in bits. This crazy hound is my life. I resolved to take Stringer to the vet the next morning, but in the meantime, there wasn’t much else I could do. And that feeling, of not being able to help the thing you love most in the world? That feeling is THE WORST. I was a weeping, sobbing mess all morning.
I checked my diary and I was booked onto a meditation class that day. I’m on a big kick at the moment to show up to things and not be flaky, so despite being an emotional disaster, I went on down to the session. I was in one of those moods where I could break into tears at any moment.
I’ve only tried meditation once before. I didn’t really know what to expect. The instructor kicked the session off giving us a little background into how she got into this field, why she does it and what she hopes it’ll bring to others. I won’t go into her back story here, suffice to say, it was super emotional. She needs to write a book, be on Oprah and just generally spread her super awesome rainbow vibes all over the world – she’s an incredible individual. She’s telling her story and it’s taking everything in me to hold it together.
One other person had shown up for the session. The instructor asked if either of us would like to share why we’re there. I knew if I opened my mouth, nothing but incomprehensible sob-like babbling would emerge, so decided to hold my peace. The other participant started to share her story. She’d moved here from Australia a year or so ago, the transition had been difficult, she has a really stressful job…as a vet.
A VET, y’all. The one other person who had shown up at this meditation session on this day, where I was having a nervous breakdown about my dog possibly dying, was a vet.
As soon as she said that, I was in pieces. The vet and the instructor sat there with me as I wept. The lovely vet reassured me that it’s highly unlikely my dog is dying, that whatever is going on is going to be treatable and I shouldn’t panic.
A giant weight lifted off my shoulders. And as if that wasn’t enough, we then did the meditation. And it was wonderful. And so very, very needed. I’ve been studying super hard since mid-February trying to complete my Pilates Instructor qualification. I’d had a really intense anatomy and physiology exam the day before and I guess I hadn’t realised how high my stress levels were (hence my super emotional reaction about my pup).
Sunday taught me a whole lot. It taught me that when you need it the most, the universe will throw you a sign – be it in the form of a vet showing up to a meditation session or just a stranger throwing a smile your way – and let you know you’re gonna be OK.
It taught me that it’s good to cry. I guess I’m lucky in that I don’t often feel the need to cry, but judging by the bucket load of tears I let go of that day, I should probably allow myself to weep a little more often. It was cathartic.
It taught me the importance of stillness. I spend my days, quite literally, moving around a lot (fitness instructor vibes). I’m always busying myself with something and feel guilty if I’m not working. The meditation itself was 30 minutes. I cannot even tell you how much better I felt after just allowing myself to be still for that time.
And perhaps most importantly, it taught me the power of sisterhood. I’d only met the instructor briefly one before at an event and I’d never met the vet til that day and yet these women let me weep, they hugged me, they reassured me. They didn’t make me feel silly or as though I was overreacting. They gave me comfort and peace in a moment where I really needed it.
I’m so glad that I stepped out of my safe zone, and committed to showing up and not being flaky.
I say all that to say this; trust in the universe, open yourself to new experiences and maybe don’t Google your dog’s medical issues.