March 6, 2008 | relationships

One Last Time

My grandmother would have been 98 today. Sadly, she passed away in September of ’04. She donated her body to science. I wrote the piece below last year when I found out the hospital were releasing her body for burial. I’m posting it here today in honor of her. (Feeling a little sentimental today –...

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February 20, 2008 | life

The Confessional

Even though I’m going through a crisis of faith right now, I had some things I had to get off my chest, so decided to go to confession. Me: Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It’s been….well, it’s been a really frikkin’ long time since my last confession. Father McBangs: Please don’t curse. Me:...

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February 15, 2008 | life

The Joys of Sumo

Being a Sumo wrestler is the best gig in the world. It basically entails eating, sleeping, wearing a thong and bitch slapping people. I’d be an excellent contender, as that pretty much is my life.   There is an incredible amount of money involved in Sumo. It is big business, in every sense. The prime...

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February 13, 2008 | fashion

Rockin' the Arethas

I’d like to discuss for a moment, if I may, boobs. Specifically, these ones: Holy mother of God!   Now lets pretend I’m not talking about Aretha, because it’s almost blasphemy to do so, but this titty situation must be addressed.   Do you see how that spaghetti strap is holding on for dear life?...

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February 7, 2008 | fashion

The Crappy Job Chronicles

There are certain jobs where there’s a good camaraderie with your colleagues. Nightclub coat check girls form a bond, a code of ethics, a sense of loyalty not unlike that of say, the marines. When you go to work each night, you’re preparing for battle.   Oh sure, the beginning of the night is all...

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January 30, 2008 | life

Sumimasen! Part Ni

Everything shook, the tea in my mug rippled, Nads hit the deck. She was saying it was an earthquake but the words just weren’t registering with me. My jet lag had kicked in hardcore and I was in a daze. It wasn’t a very strong one and was over in about 30 seconds, but the...

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January 29, 2008 | life

Sumimasen! Part Ichi

Going to Japan had been a dream of mine since my early teens, so when I was offered a job over there, I was beside myself with excitement. The build up had been huge with intense interviews and endless form filling.   The night before I left, friends dropped by the house as I finished...

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January 22, 2008 | life

The Exterminator – Part Two

I moved from Spanish Harlem to a fantastic old rent controlled apartment on the west side. It was a bit run down and I was the first tenant in a long time to actually give it a bit of TLC; I spent 3 full days cleaning from top to bottom before it was even sanitary...

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January 16, 2008 | life

The Ferris Wheel of Death

Before she left Japan, my roommate, Nads, was determined to go on the ‘World’s Biggest Ferris Wheel’ in Yokohama. I don’t have the stats on hand, but I seriously doubt it’s the biggest in the world. ‘Biggest’ from a Japanese perspective, maybe, but not in the world. Anywho, I agreed to go with her.  ...

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January 9, 2008 | life

Would You Like Me To Spell That?

What’s in a name? Well, if your name’s Muireann, a whole bunch of letters, seemingly in the wrong order and impossible to pronounce.   It’s Muireann, pronounced ‘Mirren’ (but in Irish it sounds more like ‘Mwrn’). Why is it spelt like that? I have no idea, but I suspect it may be because my mother...

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