December 28, 2007 | life

Happy Birthday Mama!

On this day, a few years ago (I will not mention how many for fear of getting a good old fashioned ass whooping), my fabulous Mama was born. And so Mama, here’s to you;   – For your ability to make me laugh till I cry – For your insistence on only shopping in charity...

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December 19, 2007 | life

The Day I Met the Mafia

The restaurant had been all but shut down. Special linen had been purchased. An entire new menu had been created. All the managers seemed particularly on edge and had implemented a specific ‘if they ask, they get’ policy. Yes, this was the night the Mafia dined at my workplace.   The barman had told me...

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December 17, 2007 | life

Apart From the Occasional Shooting…

Finding an apartment in New York is hard. When I finally realized I was living beyond my means in my East Harlem apartment, I decided to take the plunge and look for the cheaper option of renting a room. It was highly likely that I would end up living with a lunatic, but it’s a...

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December 12, 2007 | relationships

Cinnamon on Whipped Cream

In September of 2004, I was working at a crappy Irish bar on the Upper East Side in Manhattan. The customers loved me; the management hated me. I’m not sure why they hated me, but it might have something to do with me being the worst waitress mankind has ever seen (the comedy value of...

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December 9, 2007 | life

A Guide to Englishism

As an English person living in North America, one thing that never fails to amaze me is the fascination Yanks and Canucks have with my accent. When I first moved here, the attention it garnered (not to mention the play from the fellas) was quite flattering. But now, it’s just annoying. Every time I open...

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December 6, 2007 | life

Boarding All Flights to Your Last Nerve

I make it through a crazy long check in line at JFK and move on to security where I’m chastised by a guard for not having my hair serum, deodorant and moisturizer in a clear bag. “Really,” she tells me “I should confiscate these right now.” “Why?” I ask. “What am I gonna do? Makeover...

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November 29, 2007 | life

The Onsen

When I was in Japan and heard about Onsens, I immediately wanted to go. Outdoor hot springs just sound so relaxing. Then my students told me you had to go nude. This threw me off somewhat. It seems very un-Japanese to get butt naked and frolic around in water. But whatever – I was down...

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November 28, 2007 | life

Citric Nightmare

I am anti-citrus. I hate it when I go to a bar, order my Diet Pepsi and some jumped up bar keep hurls a lemon or lime wedge in there with abandon. How about you ask me before you taint, what would have been, a thirst quenching, refreshing beverage with a chunk of sour, lip-pursing...

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November 24, 2007 | life

51 Things You Should Know About Me

1. I believe that any problem, no matter how big, can be solved over a good cup of tea. 2. I have a completely irrational fear of mobiles that hang over babies’ beds, wind chimes, things that go round and round in circles and toys that play music on repeat. 3. I can’t stand people...

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